Growth

Well the seeds I started have grown like weeds. (Let's just hope they aren't weeds) I am not really sure this is a good thing. They appear to be out growing thier pods and it has only been 10 days since I planted them. I fear it is still too early to take them outside so I think I will try and stunt their growth the rest of this week, acclimate them to outdoors over the weekend, and start the garden a little early this year. Weather has been nice early this year so we can hope that the threat of frost is over or that they will survive any frost they may suffer. It is Michigan and so I never take the sun/warmth as a given until say.... August. Enough about the plants. I am sure we have covered that over and over by now.

A wierd weekend for me and it has spilled into the early week. Not sure I can put my finger on it. Easter, beautiful weather, new life to celebrate but I just felt beneath it all. I believe I have my reasons but oh how I wish I could control how they affect me. It isn't fair to me or those around me to succumb to them. I don't like the view I have and the person it makes me. I don't want others to be hurt by the person I am or am not because of how I feel. I think a big part of overcoming it is to look at it differently. I struggle with that. I say I can but doing so is much more difficult. I think devloping a game plan could help but not sure that is possible at the present time. Back to changing my attitude. I am sure I have lost you at this point but that is ok. Maybe I haven't and that is fine too. I don't mind being transparent on certain things but I don't really want to explain them either. Maybe what I describe is universal. It can mean something entirely different to each person and can be different each time depending on the situation. I know for me it really applies to several things going on in my life. I don't want sympathy or help from anyone... please don't think that is why I am posting this. This is my thing and I know it is for me to figure out. A big part of the problem is when you think someone else is responsible for your state of mind. They are not. Only I get to change it and it is my call...do I want better? *I warned you I was going to vent :D

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
- George Bernard Shaw